Hope, Strength and Beauty

October 8, 2011 in art, Diva Challenge, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , , | 1 comment

Hope Strength and Beauty

“During chemo, you’re more tired than you’ve ever been.  It’s like a cloud passing over the sun, and suddenly you’re out.  You don’t know how you’ll answer the door when your groceries are delivered.  But you also find that you’re stronger than you’ve ever been.  You’re clear.  Your mortality is at optimal distance, not up so close that it obscures everything else, but close enough to give you depth perception.  Previously, it has taken you weeks, months, or years to discover the meaning of an experience.  Now it’s instantaneous.”  ~Melissa Bank

Earlier this week, my daughter and I decided to have lunch before I chauffeured her home after her visit to the doctor.  The hostess commented as she seated us, “You must be wearing pink for breast cancer.”  Not purposely, we both just happened to wear pink blouses that day.  I realized it was October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month – Laura Harms, the Diva, challenged us to tangle Hope as a tribute to those amazing women touched by breast cancer.

As I gave this more consideration, several specific friends came to mind.  The quote I selected for this week captures what all three of them have told me at one time or another over the years.  I am always humbled by the quiet dignity of their words and the hope they give others so generously.  While my string is not so original, the tangles were selected with these wonderful women in mind.  Zander represents the strands of hope that when gathered create a strength that inspires and endures.  Purk and Onomato – so very feminine and beautiful.  Breast cancer tries to steal those qualities from a woman, but their very strength and spirit hold tight and it shines from within and all around them.  Finally, the pearls represent the patina they carry from challenges faced and incredible courage to move forward.  It shines from every breast cancer warrior’s face.  I count myself blessed that they are still in my life and I am able to call these ladies my friends.  Cheers Sarah, Gerri, and Donna!

 

Getting my head together…

October 7, 2011 in art, drawing, Linda Allred, Wedding, Zentangle | Tags: , | Leave a comment

“In order to change the world, you have to get your head together first.”  Jimi Hendrix 

Change has been a big part of my life for the past few weeks professionally and personally.  It’s been buzzing around my head like a cloud of pesky gnats.  I need some time and space to get my head together and move forward.  Unfortunately, life and obligation don’t recognize I have some thinking to do.

My company has been working through a massive reorganization on many levels with everyone being assigned new titles with new responsibilities – in some cases it’s a whole new world.  That would be me.  We took several hours discussing the things we needed to “stop doing” and the things we needed to “start doing” during our week-long training for the new process.  As I contemplated these lists, my prevailing thought was: “If I stop doing all that, WHAT will my day look like?  I need to THINK about this for at least a week.”  Out came the stone tiles I had brought along with me.  (FYI: TSA doesn’t much like stone in your carry on)  They were to be gifts for my daughter’s bridal shower.  Each with a different Zentangle design, sealed and cork-backed.  In other words, coaster sets.  Throughout the week, I tangled, listened and internalized it all.  I have to say, this is the first time I have used Zentangle in this way, and it helped me focus.  I was getting distracted by all the commitments that I would have to honor, yet were not part of my new duties, and the need to flip the switch right away.  Tangling helped me put those concerns away and focus on what I needed to hear.  I work for a wonderful company and my boss (luckily I get to keep him) is completely fascinated by Zentangle and understands how I use it.  Plus I gave a few mini-lessons to co-workers – spreading the love around.

Once I got home, personal commitments took over.  I had one day to prep for the bridal shower, but I did it.  It was a wonderful success and we had a great time.  That night, my oldest daughter fainted at work (ER nurse) and knocked herself out for about 15 minutes and dislocated her jaw in the process.  She did scare the wits out of a drunk driver she was giving a lecture about drinking and driving.  Tests are ongoing, but it appears that she is now susceptible to concussion after her injuries from the accident last year.  Add lack of sleep, extreme stress from work that night and dehydration – and there you have it.  Since she isn’t allowed to drive till the last tests are done, I am now driving Miss Daisy.  That’s what she told me earlier this year when I was having trouble with my eyes and not allowed to drive – so turnabout is fair play.  I’ve started working with Linda Allred to stop my procrastination habits – perfect timing.  I need all the focus I can get through the rest of this year.  Wedding plans are taking over and we are in the home stretch.

So here I am.  It’s Friday and my calendar is wonderfully blank.  I have been waiting for this day – a big block of time to think, assimilate and get my head together.  And you can be sure I’ll be tangling away while I do it.

a Plantation, Pictures, and Puddles

September 22, 2011 in art, Wedding, Zentangle | Tags: , , , | 5 comments

“There is something about a wedding gown prettier than any other gown in the world. ” Douglas Jerrold’s Wit: A Wedding Gown; Douglas Jerrold, 1859.

Today was the big kickoff for the rush to the wedding – bridal portraits.  And what a day it was!  Our Bride absolutely hates to have her plans go awry or to be late for anything.  The demands have been wearing on her for a few weeks now, and what started out on track had begun to derail by early afternoon, leaving her weepy and stressed.

We settled on a late afternoon photo shoot at an incredibly beautiful local plantation – Houmas House.  I had toured the home a few years ago with my granddaughter and the grounds are a photographer’s dream (the photos below were from that visit.)  Things began to slide with her hair and a last-minute change of mind to add some curls.  Her hair is waist length and doesn’t hold a curl very well.  When the stylist began to comb through the curls, the product he used began to flake and had to be plucked out – won’t be doing that on the wedding day.  She is now 30 minutes late for the make-up artist, catching every red light and calling me every few minutes to cry.  The makeup artist – Lauren – was great and she was FAST!  She calmed her down and did an amazing job to get us back on track.  I loaded everything in the car and we had exactly enough time to get there, under normal circumstances.  Just as we turned out of the neighborhood and she is fretting that she didn’t check that everything was in the car herself, the skies went black and the flood began.  The photographer called to say he was in the parking lot, waiting it out and it was much worse there than what we were driving through.  We can’t pull up to the house, I discover my grandson took my umbrella out of my car, and we have a trek to get to the dressing area and then another to get to the house.  I buy an umbrella in the gift shop to hold over her, it’s okay if I get wet, and we start hauling.  The rain gives us a little break when we head to the house and the photographer sits her on a lovely antique settee.  “Katrina, everything you just went through never happened, the sun is shining outside and you look beautiful.”  He was great!  The extra time in the house allowed shots he never took before, tourists from all over the world were peeking around doorways raving over the gorgeous dress and stunning bride.  “Your groom will pass out when he sees you for the first time!”  The docent was in love too, suggesting places for great shots around the house.  We finally made it outside, hiked to the front of the home, spread a sheet to protect the dress (not) and started snapping away.  I feel raindrops and head back to the house to get the umbrella.  As I look back, she is framed by the oak trees with the light shining through her veil, throwing her in silhouette.  It is amazing.  We need to get this one, so I wade into the grass and across the massive lawn shouting to the photographer he needs to frame her from the opposite direction.  He wades out to meet me and agrees, this one HAS to be taken.  I just know this will be a favorite.  The over-cast sky, thunder clouds, wet foliage, slate and ornate wrought iron garden furniture with the oak trees and the soft light shining all around her – stunning! Good call Mom!  Exhausted, sweaty and a picture in contrasts – her still pristine and me looking like a wet, half drowned rodent – we load it all up and head home. We have some great mother-daughter time and memories from this one.  It is a story that will be fun to tell in the future.  I assure her, the post-thunderstorm light was great, the photos will look so serene and perfect – and she can look at them and remember the rain, stress and sweat running down her legs and laugh that the crazy day doesn’t even show.

As we were finishing, a huge group of senior couples arrived for dinner at the home.  They were enchanted to see her standing with her dress in her arms and telling her to take a look at them because they are her future.  I know they were joking, but that future is exactly what I want her and her groom to experience.  A long and love-filled life together – I live that dream every day and it’s wonderful.

Baby Love

September 17, 2011 in Diva Challenge, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , | Leave a comment

“A baby is born with a need to be loved — and never outgrows it.” Frank A. Clark

Diva Challenge 39 is titled “Love is All You Need” – a call to interpret love in our tangle for the week.  So appropriate for my contribution and one I had been waiting to create for my daughter’s friend.  She had a little baby boy several weeks ago – Easton.  Despite today’s medical advancements, all were surprised when he was born with a critical birth defect.  He was immediately flown to Boston for surgery.  Little Easton came home this week and I was given the go ahead to finish his gift.  This Zentangle will be framed with a mat signed by all his mom’s co-workers to capture how very much he means to so many people.  The thoughts guiding my pen were centered on the intense love this first-time mother must surely feel for the little boy who has already fought so hard to stay with her.  Much love to baby Easton and his new parents – enjoy!

Five minute miracle

September 13, 2011 in Zentangle | Tags: , , , , | 3 comments

A recent photo of my daughter and grandchildren. What a difference a year makes. Photo courtesy of justbephotojennic.com

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.”  Wayne Dyer 

There is so much truth in this, yet the times when miracles occur can be among the most difficult.  It has been a challenging few days for me with the tenth anniversary of 9/11 and today, the anniversary of what I think of as “The Accident.”  Our miracle was in moments, less than five.  So long when you are watching the clock, but a blink when you live it.

The call came around 5:30 that Monday afternoon as I was settling in to work late at home.  There has been an accident.  It’s bad and Maggie (my granddaughter) is being airlifted.  You need to go.  As I drive to the hospital, I can’t reach my youngest daughter.  She is studying at the library and her phone is on silent.  My husband is hours away, offshore on an oil platform, and there is no answer.  The rest of my small family was in the accident.  I arrive at the same time as the helicopter, but I can’t find a place to park.  I see them running to get her, little pink sneakers going by on the stretcher.  A man gives me his parking place and I am hustled to a hallway and told not to move.  “She is the grandmother – she can sign.”  “We are working on her – you can’t see her.”  I am given a bag with her clothes – they have been cut off of her – and those pink sneakers.  The nurse warns me that the doctor is blunt.  I’m okay with that so long as he’s good.  He comes out and quickly tells me the risks of surgery.  Dear God, how do I sign for this?  My daughter is not even here and what if I am wrong.  This is her baby.  The doctor looks me in the eyes and says, ” I tell you these risks, because I must.  You don’t really have a choice.  She WILL die if I don’t do this now.”  I sign and pray with each stroke of my name.  My youngest daughter arrives on the heels of the ambulance transporting my older daughter and grandson.  I send her to check on her sister, I am needed for the children.  The ambulance was so far behind because they had to be cut from the car.  We are in the ER where my daughter is a nurse.  Her co-workers stunned, yet having to do their jobs.  She knows it’s bad from their faces (some with tears streaming down their cheeks), but she is seriously injured and they don’t want to tell her until she can be fully assessed.  Then she sees the organ donation team and the priest.  Now she is frantic and I am called to calm her.  What do I say?  I never lie to my children and she is demanding I tell her the truth.  I see the doctor pass with Maggie on the way to surgery.  He stops and comes in to tell my daughter “It’s Dr. C.  You don’t worry, I am going to save your baby.”  He motions me out to tell Maggie goodbye and give her a kiss.  The nurse hands us a plastic bag with the Pandora bracelet and silly bands from her birthday a few days before.  I finally speak to my husband, so far away, and give him the news.  I hate making this call with him unable to even attempt to come home till the following day, but he has to know.  Hours go by and finally the doctor comes out.  It went okay.  Her skull was too fractured to repair, he has replaced the right side with a titanium plate.  There was a mid-line brain shift and he had less than five minutes to save her.  He did the best he could.   I can be with her in PICU once they settle her.  My youngest daughter and my sister are deployed to the other hospital rooms.  My oldest daughter, suffering major concussions, only marginally pacified when promised I will not leave Maggie’s side and her sister will remain with Jack.  The state trooper tells me it was a drunk driver and gives me more info.  Then he asks if he can check on the children when he gets off.  He comes back around 3 am, still in his uniform, and silently weeps at my granddaughter’s bedside as he bends his head in prayer.

I am happy to report that Maggie made a recovery that has been nothing short of a miracle.  Off the ventilator within 18 hours and home only six days later.  Back at school in only two weeks, though it was part-time at first.  She got her braces off and danced in her ninth dance recital in April.  She competed for and was awarded a spot on the school dance team in May and moved on to the seventh grade.  The scar is now hidden by a cute little pixie ‘do.  All three will serve in our Bride’s wedding next month.  Slowly they are regaining what was taken from them last year.

As we pieced together the events of that day, it became clear that the five minutes the neurosurgeon needed came by way of Maggie’s mother.  She was unconscious and trapped in the car.  When she came to, her ER training took over.  She could not see either child, but barked questions at both – getting responses from Jack and none from Maggie.  The medic was preparing to transport Maggie to a small regional hospital with no trauma services via ambulance.  She demanded a helicopter for Maggie and transport for all of them to the trauma center a little further away.  Saving critical moments that made all the difference, paired with the efforts of so many dedicated professionals, including my injured daughter, ready to seize them and deliver a miracle.

Hope around the edges…

September 11, 2011 in art, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , , | 3 comments

Hope around the edges“Time is passing. Yet, for the United States of America, there will be no forgetting September the 11th. We will remember every rescuer who died in honor. We will remember every family that lives in grief. We will remember the fire and ash, the last phone calls, the funerals of the children.” –President George W. Bush, November 11, 2001

Each year, on this date, I relive those awful moments in time.  Even though so many years have passed, I cry each time even though I am not one to cry easily.  I never watch news footage of that day, it is just too much for me.  I feel the same way about Hurricane Katrina.  This year, I broke with that and watched the interview President Bush gave to National Geographic about his thoughts and actions that day.  It was an interesting insight into the transformation of our leader with a single event.  Now, as then, I feel grateful for his leadership at a crucial time in our country’s history.  Seeing the footage is even worse all these years later.  Why would that be?  Maybe because the shock is now gone and I have had time to truly understand the losses suffered that day.  My heart breaks for those families forever changed on that day.

My Zentangle this morning seems to reflect my unease.  The jumble of Paradox with Mooka in blue ink captures my mood today.  Sadness over past events and worry as my brother flies home from S. Korea, today of all days.  There’s hope there too, just around the edges, ready to grow and hide the chaos over time.  But never forget, it is always there, deep in our hearts.

Perfect Love…

September 9, 2011 in art, Diva Challenge, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , , | 2 comments

‎”Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.” Welsh Proverb

Twelve years ago I was blessed to become a grandmother for the first time. She was a true gift from God for me. I almost lost her last year, but God gave her back, just as perfect as she was before.  She was in my thoughts as I worked on tiles for the Diva Challenge  – mono tangle tiles using only Paradox.  It is one of my favorite tangles because it takes a lot of focus and concentration.  Since I am not much of a cook anymore, I thought a tangled cake would be in order and the tangle is fitting.  Our girl is very much a paradox these days as the wild mood swings of the pre-teen years take hold.  That’s okay, she’ll grow out of them and we are ever grateful she has that opportunity.

I am such a lucky Kacki to have my Maggie Moe. Love you my Mags! Happy Birthday!

 

 

 

 

 

 

the Bubba Truck and Cup Holder Wisdom

September 3, 2011 in art, Diva Challenge, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Geaux Tigers!

“There cannot be a crisis next week.  My schedule is already full.”  Henry A. Kissinger

A few years ago a friend was describing the various criteria she used in shopping for a new car.  This very intelligent, no-nonsense woman went on at length about the importance of a good cup holder.  Her experience was that most were just too small for a “Big Gulp” and that was unacceptable to her.  I teased her about it at the time, but she never wavered from her convictions.  Fast forward to this week…

My week was booked solid with appointments starting at 8:30 and running through to 5 pm and beyond.  On Thursday morning, exhausted and stressed from the intense schedule, I noticed my husband prowling around the house – searching.  When asked, he explained he was worried about his Mom getting in his truck.  He was taking her for a doctor’s appointment that day so he was searching for something to help her step up and into the truck. His Mom had a stroke some years ago and his concern was well founded as her mobility is not very good.  I suggested we trade vehicles for the day – he could take my car and I would take his truck.  Problem solved — for him.

I hate driving the “Bubba Truck” and should have known I was in trouble as I struggled to climb into the truck in the skirt I was wearing that day.  Hubby leans in and warns me: “Now this is a FORD truck.  Remember there is about a 3 second lag when you shift to reverse.”  Yeah, yeah, I won’t be driving in reverse.  I am a little early, so I decide to stop for my favorite drink, a 44 oz. diet coke from Sonic.  It’s not the drink, but the ice that I love – plus it lasts all day and I needed the caffeine.  I rumble into the local Sonic and order my drink.  Uh-oh, no wallet in my purse, no money, no license.  Hubby had taken it out looking for a gas card.  Paying the carhop with all the loose change I could scrounge in my purse, I head back home to get my wallet.  As I turned out of the drive thru, my 44 oz drink went airborne, covering the passenger side of the truck, narrowly missing my LSU purple Coach purse.  NOW, I am going to be late and call to warn my team to start without me.  I pull in the driveway, leave my phone ringing in the truck and rush into the house to find the wallet and get a towel to clean up the mess.  First bathroom, no towels.  The second has so many, that when I pull out a beach towel, the whole stack spills onto the floor.  Darn, I just organized all that a few days ago.  Finally, wallet and towel in hand, I am out the door and on my way.  I was only 30 minutes late for my meeting.  Not so bad, all things considered.  Once I got to the meeting site, I pulled out my Zentangle supplies and started working on my Diva Challenge tile for the week as I listened.  By the time I had finished the tile, my focus was back and the day went on as planned.

I called my friend to share the mornings antics and let her know I have a new respect for her cup holder obsession.  We laugh together and I wonder why my husband didn’t have the good sense to tell me about something as important as his crummy cup holder when he warned me about a 3 second lag for reverse.  I mean, where are his priorities!

All Creatures Great and Small

August 30, 2011 in Zentangle | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Boofy and our Bride

All things bright and beautiful,

All creatures great and small,

All things wise and wonderful,

The Lord God made them all.

from the Anglican hymn “All Things Bright and Beautiful”

 

Milestone events often inspire reflection.  Though many would think it morbid, funerals often end with laughter as memories of happier times are shared.  Who can forget the memorable cemetery scene from Steel Magnolias where Truvy declares “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”  As my family enters the intense focus of final planning for our youngest daughter’s upcoming wedding, a sense of reflection swirls around us.  Decisions large and small are examined from every angle with the awareness that we are creating memories for her.  We want them to be wonderful.  As she enters this new phase of her life, we also want to remind her of other times shared by her first family.  Poring over the treasure trove of photos collected during the past quarter century, there are those that make me smile through tears…those capturing the furry friends we have lost.

We are mostly a dog family, though the occasional cat has set up housekeeping in our hearts.  Most have lived very long lives.  While it is wonderful to have them for so long, the grief can be devastating when we lose them.  For a while, it seemed there were more goodbyes than we could bear.  My girls said we were running a nursing home for dogs because our dogs were so old.  I guess it was to be expected, but difficult all the same.  There was Benji, a miniature schnauzer, the girls dubbed Bee-joo.  My granny tried really hard to get us to let her have him after an extended visit.  Dabber, the mixed breed who won the dog lottery.  My sister found her on side of the road one night in a mud puddle, too young to be without her mother and loaded with mange.  We took her despite having a full doghouse and not much extra money.  One week later, someone broke into the animal shelter where she would have been taken and killed all the animals.  Boofy, a very unusual white miniature schnauzer, who chose our Bride at the pet store.  When her Dad refused to buy the dog, she quit speaking to him for almost a week (the only time she has ever done anything like this in her life.)  One month later, we visited the same pet store and guess who was still there – and marked down to the arbitrary price her Dad said he would have paid after that fateful first visit.  She had him for almost 17 years.  Bert, another miniature schnauzer,the essence of a gentleman in a dog’s body. Bert always barked at the doggie door and waited until he was invited in.  He once saved Boofy’s life when he fell into a freezing swimming pool by barking until I came to investigate.   Bandit, my husband’s 80 pound basset hound.  He was afraid of flies and camera-shy.  A gentle giant in our hearts.  And finally, Dudley “Booger” Dawson (from the movie Revenge of the Nerds), a tabby cat with white markings.  He lived with our Bride when she moved away for college.  She was his third owner and she adored him.  Dudley returned the love in true cat fashion.  He was a great hunter, often leaving his latest “catch” on her pillow.

My grandchildren were watching the movie All Dogs Go To Heaven recently when my granddaughter posed the age-old question -“Do dogs go to heaven?”  Before I could gather my thoughts to reply,  my grandson piped up “Of course they do!  They are waiting for us up there.”  I couldn’t have said it better.  RIP old friends, we’ll meet again one day.

Dudley and our Bride

My favorite pet reading:

Marshall Saunders’ Beautiful Joe (a favorite from childhood)

James Herriot’s All Creatures Great and Small series

Mark Levin’s Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover’s Story of Joy and Anguish

No Fault

August 28, 2011 in art, Diva Challenge, drawing, Zentangle | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” ~ Henry Ford

I seem to find myself increasingly looking for the remedy as others find fault.  Tempers flair and reactions are quick and unproductive resulting in a nasty knot that seems  to have no beginning or end.  It’s a good thing I like puzzles and take pleasure in finding the remedy that allows all parties to keep their dignity and self-esteem intact.  Sometimes we become so caught up in our own situation that we can’t gain perspective.  Hands reaching out to help become threats and words offered with the best of intentions are tainted by the emotion of the moment.

Empathy is the foundation of my approach in these situations.  I work hard to see all sides, present them fairly, and help everyone else do the same.  Once we get there, the problem is usually pretty clear and a team approach to resolution prevails.  Goodness knows, it doesn’t always happen that way, but it seems to work more often than not.  Luckily for me, I had a team who wanted find a solution and they were willing to help each other succeed.

I thought about all this as I completed a few Zentangles this week – clearly I needed the perspective gained in working through the various tangles.  The Diva Challenge this week was to use the new tangle designed as a birthday gift to Maria from Rick called Assunta.  I used my sketchbook to get a feel for the tangle, it has quite a few nuances as you learn the strokes.  Even with the practice, I struggled with this one on my tiles.  Mine seemed to fall short of whatever it was I was holding as the ideal in my head.  Then I reminded myself, this is not about fault.  It is about moving forward from where you are and finding the remedy that feels right.  When you think of anything this way, it’s really not so difficult after all.