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Geaux Tigers!
“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.” Henry A. Kissinger
A few years ago a friend was describing the various criteria she used in shopping for a new car. This very intelligent, no-nonsense woman went on at length about the importance of a good cup holder. Her experience was that most were just too small for a “Big Gulp” and that was unacceptable to her. I teased her about it at the time, but she never wavered from her convictions. Fast forward to this week…
My week was booked solid with appointments starting at 8:30 and running through to 5 pm and beyond. On Thursday morning, exhausted and stressed from the intense schedule, I noticed my husband prowling around the house – searching. When asked, he explained he was worried about his Mom getting in his truck. He was taking her for a doctor’s appointment that day so he was searching for something to help her step up and into the truck. His Mom had a stroke some years ago and his concern was well founded as her mobility is not very good. I suggested we trade vehicles for the day – he could take my car and I would take his truck. Problem solved — for him.
I hate driving the “Bubba Truck” and should have known I was in trouble as I struggled to climb into the truck in the skirt I was wearing that day. Hubby leans in and warns me: “Now this is a FORD truck. Remember there is about a 3 second lag when you shift to reverse.” Yeah, yeah, I won’t be driving in reverse. I am a little early, so I decide to stop for my favorite drink, a 44 oz. diet coke from Sonic. It’s not the drink, but the ice that I love – plus it lasts all day and I needed the caffeine. I rumble into the local Sonic and order my drink. Uh-oh, no wallet in my purse, no money, no license. Hubby had taken it out looking for a gas card. Paying the carhop with all the loose change I could scrounge in my purse, I head back home to get my wallet. As I turned out of the drive thru, my 44 oz drink went airborne, covering the passenger side of the truck, narrowly missing my LSU purple Coach purse. NOW, I am going to be late and call to warn my team to start without me. I pull in the driveway, leave my phone ringing in the truck and rush into the house to find the wallet and get a towel to clean up the mess. First bathroom, no towels. The second has so many, that when I pull out a beach towel, the whole stack spills onto the floor. Darn, I just organized all that a few days ago. Finally, wallet and towel in hand, I am out the door and on my way. I was only 30 minutes late for my meeting. Not so bad, all things considered. Once I got to the meeting site, I pulled out my Zentangle supplies and started working on my Diva Challenge tile for the week as I listened. By the time I had finished the tile, my focus was back and the day went on as planned.
I called my friend to share the mornings antics and let her know I have a new respect for her cup holder obsession. We laugh together and I wonder why my husband didn’t have the good sense to tell me about something as important as his crummy cup holder when he warned me about a 3 second lag for reverse. I mean, where are his priorities!
“Don’t find fault, find a remedy.” ~ Henry Ford
I seem to find myself increasingly looking for the remedy as others find fault. Tempers flair and reactions are quick and unproductive resulting in a nasty knot that seems to have no beginning or end. It’s a good thing I like puzzles and take pleasure in finding the remedy that allows all parties to keep their dignity and self-esteem intact. Sometimes we become so caught up in our own situation that we can’t gain perspective. Hands reaching out to help become threats and words offered with the best of intentions are tainted by the emotion of the moment.
Empathy is the foundation of my approach in these situations. I work hard to see all sides, present them fairly, and help everyone else do the same. Once we get there, the problem is usually pretty clear and a team approach to resolution prevails. Goodness knows, it doesn’t always happen that way, but it seems to work more often than not. Luckily for me, I had a team who wanted find a solution and they were willing to help each other succeed.
I thought about all this as I completed a few Zentangles this week – clearly I needed the perspective gained in working through the various tangles. The Diva Challenge this week was to use the new tangle designed as a birthday gift to Maria from Rick called Assunta. I used my sketchbook to get a feel for the tangle, it has quite a few nuances as you learn the strokes. Even with the practice, I struggled with this one on my tiles. Mine seemed to fall short of whatever it was I was holding as the ideal in my head. Then I reminded myself, this is not about fault. It is about moving forward from where you are and finding the remedy that feels right. When you think of anything this way, it’s really not so difficult after all.
“As in nature, as in art, so in grace; it is rough treatment that gives souls, as well as stones, their luster.” Thomas Guthrie
I have often referred to my use of Zentangle as a favorite tool to manage stress and work my way through assorted life challenges. That has never been more true as I wrestled with a problem over the past couple of weeks. Sometimes, we find ourselves on the wrong side of shabby treatment by someone we consider a friend. These situations offer ways for us to shine along with lots of places to exhibit just how childish an adult can become. I was at one of these crossroads and needed to find a resolution that would allow me to feel good about my own conduct. I hold myself to some pretty high standards, so for the most part, I am able to rise above these situations and act graciously. Not so this time. My inner child really wanted to throw a humdinger of a tantrum in protest of the injustice.
I started the Diva Challenge early this week. The paradox of straight line string with curvy tangles and curvy strings with straight line tangles turned out to be a lot of fun. I had one of each done by Tuesday morning. By the end of the day Tuesday, I had been on the phone for eight hours straight and found myself with a huge new, rushed project on my plate that I have no idea how I will manage. And then came the call that put the cherry on that stress sundae, confirmation that I had a relationship in the ditch and headed for the bayou. Trying to shed the problems of the day, I sat in my favorite chair to relax and realized that just wasn’t going to happen. What to do?? What to do?? What to do?? I thought about starting a new tile, but just couldn’t find it in me. Then I spied the tiles I had “completed” earlier. Without really thinking, I picked up my pen and kept going. Very slowly and very deliberately, stroke by stroke. As my mind finally quieted, the path was clear and precise for me. Not easy, but the right thing to do. I took a look at the tile and realized I had thrown the Diva Challenge out the window, but that’s okay. Friendships are too valuable to squander and worth the sacrifice. There’s always another tile.
“Joint undertakings stand a better chance when they benefit both sides.” Euripedes
It has been a busy week for me. In addition to all my regular personal and professional obligations, I had the pleasure of teaching the first of a two-part workshop series at the Red Shoes. It was a large class of very interesting and talented people. The time passed quickly for me and the group posed many questions that made me think about my own work in a new way. The teacher and the student traded places a few times that evening. My own “lessons learned” were hovering around the fringes of my thoughts as I worked on this week’s Diva Challenge and influenced the final tiles in some subtle ways. This week’s challenge is to use your initials as the string. I ended up doing several and may have resolved the issue of my “chop’ in the process. A “chop” is the distinctive initials/signature at the bottom of a piece of artwork. I have gone through several iterations with none really hitting the mark for me. I haven’t worked out all the details, but it’s certainly better than anything I’ve used before.
There is a special moment in a Zentangle class when everyone places their finished tiles together to form a mosaic. The room becomes quiet as everyone studies each tile and realizes their own is every bit as wonderful as all the others. I think of it as a mirror of sorts. Each person in that class gets the very same materials and instructions. All do the same tangles. Yet the tiles are each different, unique and beautiful in their own right, just like each student. I have also realized that the Diva Challenge is much like that moment in class, but shared virtually among caring friends. We all start at the same place, but make the journey our own. We learn from each other and grow better with each challenge shared.
Thanks are in order this week for several people. My youngest daughter helped out as my assistant for the class – I could not have managed nearly so well without her. The staff at the Red Shoes, especially Wendy and her husband for getting everything ready and helping me tear it all down. And to Sue Jacobs for sharing the link to some wonderful Zentangle inspired letters. Finally to my students, for the opportunity to share my passion with you and learn from you. It was truly my pleasure.
Everyone should have an Aunt Sue in their life. I have so many wonderful memories of my Aunt Sue. She has a big heart and generous spirit that welcomes everyone she meets. My brother and I spent many childhood summers at her house, getting into mischief with our cousins. These were lazy times for us. I’ll forever associate her with endless hours of Yahtzee!, Canasta and a coffee pot that never seemed to empty. Squabbles with my cousins over dishwashing duties and who was on which team for chores and for games. While all of these things are treasured memories associated with my favorite aunt, those that seem to capture her best for me are the times I got to watch her do the “wedding ring” trick. This was something of a rite of passage for the females in our family, though I have no idea how it works or why only Aunt Sue could do it. Whenever one of the girls would get pregnant, Aunt Sue would get a visit. She would take the girl’s wedding ring and run a thread through the ring. Then, while the girl was lying down, she would hold the ring, suspended from the thread, over her usually very pregnant belly. The motion of the ring – either back and forth or spinning – would determine the sex of the baby. I was so fascinated by this whole ritual though I can’t remember which means boy or girl. I would watch so carefully to see if she did anything to influence the outcome, but she never did anything to move the ring. In fact, she made sure it was not moving in any way when she started. I was so excited when my turn came and remember everything about it – except what she predicted and if she was right. Oh well, it was magic to me just the same.
This weeks Diva Challenge, and the first I have finished on schedule, brought my Aunt Sue to mind. Interestingly, this week’s challenge was issued by Sue Jacobs, CZT – coincidence? I think not. Sue’s challenge was to thread a string through a round object and allow it to drop onto the tile to form a random string. Oh my! Just like a wedding ring and a thread. I ended up doing three of these – one of which was created using my wedding ring in honor of my Aunt Sue. It should come as no surprise that this one turned out to be my favorite of the trio. I just might have to name it Sue – fitting, don’t you agree?
Tangled Tranquility 